Toddlers and Bandages
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Laxus learns a very valuable lesson: never give your three year old a doctor's kit and not expect to be tortured. - One-shot.


Toddlers and Bandages

"You're gonna go into work?"

"I have to, Lax," Mirajane said as she walked around the room, him only laying there on the bed, staring at her in shock. "I-"

"But I'm injured," he said, as if in disbelief. Falling back down to the bed dramatically, he demanded, "Nurse me back to health."

"It's a sprained ankle," she said with an eye roll as she stood over at her tiny closet, trying to find something to wear. "One that you didn't even get from battle, mind you."

"You're sure are a crummy nurse here, Mira," he grumbled, peeking an eye open to find her walking out of the room. "Hey! We're having a conversation here. About me. Which means it's of elevated importance. I'm talking to you!"

When he heard the bathroom door close from the hall, he only groaned.

The day just kept getting worse.

He'd come into town hardly limping and hardly in pain. It had been late, past midnight, when he got to his and Mirajane's house. But when he got to their bedroom, he found her up and reading a book.

"What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about?" he'd grumbled as he only went to set his duffle bag in the corner. "Nothing hap-"

"I can tell that you're limping."

"I'm not limping," he grumbled before turning to head right back out of their bedroom. "I'm gonna go check on the girls. They-"

"They're sleeping." Mira sat her book down before getting up and rushing over to grab his arm. "And you're going to come lay down on the bed and let me look at this foot, huh?"

It only got worse from there. Mirajane insisted that he'd sprained his ankle and made him ice it, which he hated. He kept trying to tell her that it didn't hurt, not that much, but to no avail.

When he'd woken up that morning though, after only getting a few hours rest, Laxus was ready for Mirajane to transfer that worry from the night before into sympathy. Maybe get something out of it.

Instead, she seemed indifferent to it.

"Last night she wanted me to ice it, but today she's gonna leave me? What sorta sense does that make?" Laxus grumbled to himself as he laid in bed. "Huh? I mean-"

"Laxus."

He only sighed as suddenly, in the his open bedroom doorway his oldest daughter stood, the three year old looking in on him.

"Hey, Haven," he greeted. At the sound of his voice, she only giggled before rushing in, headed right over to him. "What are you doing, kid?"

"Laxus come home."

"Mmmhmm."

"Laxus is sick."

Mirajane was in the doorway then, looking in on them.

"I am not," Laxus complained. "I'm hardly even hurt."

"Oh, really, now? You sure were a few minutes ago."

"That's because I wanted my wife, who I cherish and love-"

"Oh, whatever."

"-to stay home with me and nurse me back to health. Is that too much to ask?"

"Hurt?" Haven, who had been prepared to clamber up on the bed, stopped then, just staring at him. "Laxus?"

"No."

She wouldn't listen to that though. Nope. Laxus was hurt and she knew it. Marching out of the room, she headed towards her room, only taking a moment to get what she needed and come back to him.

"Oh, Haven," Mirajane giggled as the little girl reappeared. "Are you going to do it for me? Are you going to nurse him back to health?"

"No," Laxus was quick to say as Haven clambered right back up on the bed, her little toy doctor kit in hand. Wendy had bought it for her once, when she was babysitting her and taken her to the toy store. When she first got it, she used it constantly on all of her stuffed animals. They all had ailments. Slowly though, like with most things, the child had grown out of it and seemingly forgotten about it.

But nope. The idea of Laxus, her poor Laxus, being hurt brought it back to the forefront of her mind. She'd nursed all of her toys back to health. Welp, that meant that she could get Laxus all better, huh?

"Open."

"Haven, no. That's gross. You-"

While he was talking, she just stuck her fake plastic thermometer in his mouth making Mirajane giggle, over by the doorway. Laxus shot her a look as the woman only shook her head.

Haven patted her father on the chest then. "Laxus is sick."

Then, thankfully, she snatched the thermometer out of his mouth and put it back in her little plastic case. The next thing she pulled out though was her toy stethoscope, putting the buds in her ears before moving to place the bottom part on Laxus' chest.

"Hmmm."

Mira was coming closer then. "Well, Haven?"

"Laxus is bad," she said, glancing up at her mother before over at her father. He really didn't want to play along with her in that moment, but what choice did he have? "He's sick."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said before grinning at Laxus. "You sick."

"I am not."

"Laxus," Mira complained.

"I'm not," he said. "And, I mean, I thought that you had work or something?"

"I-"

It started up then, the sound of crying form the other room. It was Marin, of course, their youngest daughter. She was still a baby and, well, that was just so interesting to Haven most of the time. Abandoning her father in his (not so) ailing heath, she took off to follow Mirajane. She was still fascinated with watching her tend to the baby. She knew that Marin was her little sister and that she was supposed to just think of her as part of the family, but Haven kinda thought of her like a pet. You had to care for it with little in return.

Other than love. And Marin seemed to love them. Maybe. Haven wasn't sure. The only thing that she knew for certain in those past few months since the child had arrived was that her little sister sure knew how to steal attention.

Haven though, now she was a crafty one and had many remedies to this. Crying or hitting, acting out. Whatever. She knew how to get what she wanted and all of her parents' love was one of her most highly held delights.

Laxus, for his part, was just glad that the little girl had gone off with her mother. Thinking the worst was over, he slowly stood, his ankle reminding him that no, he wasn't sick. But he was sore. And he probably did need to ice the thing.

"Mira," he called as he hobbled off to the living room to sit down on the couch. Pulling the coffee table close, he propped his food up on it. "Bring me some ice when you're done with Marin, huh?"

At the sound of his voice, of his call, whatever Haven had been doing or watching Mirajane do was suddenly not important. Not if Laxus was in need. She rushed from the bedroom she shared with her younger sister, where Mira was still getting the poor baby ready for another day, and back into her parents' room, quickly gathering up her toy medical supplies before rushing into the living room.

"Haven, no," Laxus sighed. "Kid, I'm not in the mood, alright? I'm… I'm not sick, but-"

"Help Laxus," Haven told him with an air of affirmation. If there was anything she was good at, it was giving out self affirmation. She was a confident little butt, Haven was.

She came over to the couch then, popping open her little case once more, to glance in there. She had a few tools at her disposal.

"Haven- Hey!"

She'd picked up the little hammer in there and struck his side with it. "No 'flexes."

"You don't check reflexes just anywhere, brat! You do this on my- Haven!" She hit his chest that time. And fine, she was just a little thing, so it didn't hurt him much, but she was annoying him. Gah! Why had he turned her into such a monster?

She struck him in his arm that time.

Oh yeah. Because he had a hard time saying no to her. How could he? She was such a little angel at times…but then, the devil was the prettiest angel of all.

She popped the hammer against his cheek.

Of course, Haven knew that she was pushing her boundaries then. He knew that she did. She just didn't care. There were stiff fines in their house for biting, hitting, or slapping. She would know. She was the only one that ever seemed to get ticketed with them. But they had never said she couldn't use other objects to hit people.

That time she got him against his chest.

Laxus only sighed then. Because he knew that he wouldn't tell her to stop. Not really. Wouldn't force her to. She was only trying to have some fun. And since he didn't feel up for going anywhere that day, she wouldn't be seeing any of her friends. That meant that he and poor Marin would be subject to whatever mood she was in. He figured it best to keep her in a happy one.

She was poised to hit his eye that time, Laxus moving to stop her, just at the same time Mirajane came into the room, giddy and happy for some reason.

"Haven, Laxus," she began as she walked in there, Marin in one of her little onsies, wiggling in her mother's grasp. She only went to set her down in her playpen, where she had a few soft toys and was far away from any of Haven's hard ones. "I have to go now. I'm going to put Marin in her playpen, okay? And you two can both get along for the rest of the day?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Laxus," Mira sighed as Haven only sat back on her butt then, dropping the little reflex hammer as she stared up at her mother, grinning. As if she hadn't been moments away from seriously damaging Laxus' eye sight. "Why can't you ever just admit that you want to spend time with them?"

"I do," he grumbled as Mira came to kiss Haven's head. "I love them. They know that. But I want ice. And for you to take this one with you to work."

"I-"

"No." Haven gave her father one of her most disheartening stares. As if he had stabbed her in the back. As if he were the one that was wrong.

Right.

"Stay with Laxus," she pleaded with her mother. "Make him better."

"I am better," Laxus reasoned.

Mirajane only took to pressing a longer kiss against her firstborn's head. She was the first of the girl's parents to typically get exasperated with her antics, usually being the one to scold her or put her in time out. But at the end of the day, she was still Mira's baby.

"You make him feel better, sweetheart," she told her. "And keep him in line too, huh?"

Haven nodded, smiling at her mother. When Mira took a step back though, Haven looked to Laxus and he could have sworn that the smile was more devious than it was a comfort.

Ugh.

"Now come on. Let's go make Laxus a little bag of ice, huh?" Mira turned to walk away. "And I'll make you a little breakfast before I take off. What do you want? Cereal or toast?"

"Cer'al." Then just because she was in the mood for buttering Mira up for some reason, she added, "P'ease?"

"Of course, baby."

Grumbling then, Laxus only got to his feet once more, his ankle still protesting, before going over to rescue his baby from her prison.

"Lucky you, kid," he told Marin as he carried her back over to the couch with him. "I'm the other one's main focus today."

She was coming up on her first birthday at that point and though she didn't know any real words, it had never stopped Marin from babbling to him. So she took to doing that. And drooling. But Laxus let it slide since she was his little baby.

And oh, good, his little nightmare was returning about then, a bag of ice in her hand. Mira had stayed behind in the kitchen though, fixing all of them some breakfast.

"Here, Laxus," Haven said as she came to give him the bag of ice. When she saw her sister sitting in his lap, Haven's face changed. Laxus was, of course, at first afraid that they were about to have a tantrum on their hands. But no. It must have been one of Haven's good days, one where she acknowledge that fine, she had been Laxus first baby, but that he had two now and couldn't only give her attention, but also her baby sister.

"Marin." The blonde little three year old must have been in a real good mood because she went to find the baby a little toy to play with, being all sweet and stuff.

Laxus figured it was the calm before the storm.

"Okay, Haven." Mira was coming back then, a bowl of cereal in each hand. "You can eat in here with Daddy, but don't spill alright? And Laxus, are you sure you don't need-"

"I'm fine."

"But if Marin needs something, can you- Oh. You already got up and got her."

"I walked the whole way home, demon. I can walk. I'm just sore."

"Well, I'll come back home at lunch time, huh? And bring something? So you don't have to? And then I get off before dinner, so I'll make that too."

"Whatever."

She handed him his bowl of cereal. "And I fed Marin when she first got up, so she should be fine. For lunch I'm going to try and give her a little more than just milk again though."

"Whatever."

"Oh, and you know that her tummy's been upset recently. Since we first started introducing solids. So-"

"Yeah, yeah. Stink diapers." If there was one thing that he liked about Haven, it was that she was potty trained. Not that they didn't still have accidents occasionally, but not frequently. "Just go already. We're fine."

She had to kiss all three of them before that could happen. When she finally did depart though, there were some tears from Marin, who was sitting up so good in her daddy's lap. He kept telling her that and complimenting her, giving her snuggles and kisses, in hopes that she'd calm down some. She just loved Mirajane so much. Laxus figured that was his own fault, as he did, unconsciously at times, favor Haven. But it'd been hard for him to forge a bond with her too, so he figured he just had to give it some time with Marin too.

Things went okay from there too. Marin calmed down eventually and took to babbling once more, which he encouraged. And Haven just ate her cereal, being oddly quiet and calm, but hey, he'd take it.

"Haven," he said once they'd both finished eating. "Can you go put our bowels in the kitchen? If you can't get them in the sink, just set 'em on the table, huh, kid?"

She was quick to do that as Laxus only shifted Marin around some so that he could reach out and adjust the homemade ice pack on his ankle. Haven got back just in time to see him doing that.

"Laxus is hurt," she remembered aloud then, coming back over to the couch. "Laxus needs me."

"Well, no, I- Yeah, Haven, I need you, but I'm fine. Really. I-"

"Shhh!" She clambered back up on the cushion next to him. "Be quiet! No talk!"

"Look, little demon child, I am not-"

"Shhh!"

Haven was contemplating once more what instrument to use on her father and needed utter silence. Marin wasn't so accommodating though and continued to babble and dribble. She had a slobber problem. Yet another reason Haven saw her as more of a pet than a human.

But that was beside the point.

"Shhh, Marin." Her tone was softer with the baby than it had been with her father. "No talkin'. Be quiet."

"Haven," Laxus sighed, glancing over at her. "Marin can talk. As annoying and bothersome as it is, we have to put up with it. I put up with it when you were her age."

"Na-ah."

"Uh-huh."

"Na-ah."

"Haven-"

"Na-ah!" Haven always thought that being louder made her all the more right. "Laxus."

He only rolled his eyes before looking down at Marin. Her hair was growing out so much recently that he knew they'd have to get it cut soon. It was white as Mira's and, though he'd always kinda wanted his kids to look more like him, he thought she was super cute. Like a baby Mirajane.

…Not that he'd ever say that, but hey.

"Laxus." Haven looked back at him with a fake otoscope in hand. Sitting up on her knees, she moved to look in his ear with it. It was plastic, of course, so she wasn't able to really see in there, but that made no difference to her. "Hmmm."

"You know, Haven," Laxus grumbled as she continued to shove that thing in his ear. "My foot is what's hurt. What's sick. Not anything up here on my body."

"Foot? It's...sick?"

"Yeah," he said. "That's how come I have ice on it. I rolled my ankle. So maybe you leave my head and chest alone now and-"

"I look," she sighed as she climbed off the couch and went to inspect his ankle. She poked it with her finger. "Hmmm."

"Hmmm," Laxus agreed as Marin giggled.

When she came back to grab the little reflex hammer though, he reached out to grab her hand.

"No, no," he said. "Don't do that."

"Yes! Laxus-"

"No." His tone was absolute then. "No, Haven."

With a sigh, she dropped the hammer. When he let go of her hand, she went to dig through her stuff again. It only took her a moment to find what she needed.

"Haven," Laxus groaned when he saw what she produced. "I don't-"

"Laxus need bandie." She had a little thing of kids bandages that had depictions of dogs and cats and the like. Quickly going back over to his foot, she began to unwrap one, pulling off Laxus' sock before placing it on his foot. Then she gave his big toe a kiss which was totally disgusting.

"Hey, kid, I don't wash much, so how about you not do that again?"

She only went back to unwrapping another bandage, placing it on his foot as well.

"Hey," Laxus complained. "Don't use all of those."

But it was too late. Haven had already devised in her mind that this was helping Laxus and, well, she was going to do so no matter what.

So that was how Mirajane found Laxus later that day, both girls having gone down for their nap in an unceremonious way, Marin napping in Laxus' lap as Haven slept sitting up, leaning to the left slightly as she rested against her father.

"Busy morning?"

Laxus only stared at Mirajane. "Every inch of me is covered in some sort of bandage."

"Well, I hope not every inch."

"Mira."

She only giggled, staring at him. And wasn't he quite the sight? As he had gone to bed the night before in shorts, Haven had had full access to his legs, which weren't just covered in those little kid bandages. On no. She'd apparently been given some gauze as well at some point and wrapped both of his legs up, from the ankle to where his shorts started. His arms as well. And his head was covered in those kid bandages, from both cheeks to right on his nose.

He was miserable.

"Where did she get-"

"I don't know," he complained. "When she used to like to doctor her dolls, you gave her all these bandages and stuff to make it more realistic. Well, how do you like it now, Mirajane? I'm practically in a full body cast!"

"Oh, Laxus. You're always so dramatic."

"I am not!"

His complaining awoke Haven who only lifted her head from his side and yawned. "Mommy."

"Hi, sweetie. Did you take care of Laxus for me?"

"Uh-huh. He's better."

"I can see."

Haven patted Laxus' side before jumping off the couch so she could stretch. Then, because she was his daughter, after all, she asked the same thing he was thinking. "Food now?"

"I meant to bring something, but then I thought that I would just come home and make something. Do you want a sandwich?"

She nodded sleepily. "One fo' Laxus too?"

"I'll make him a couple, baby, yes." Mirajane giggled over at her husband who only held out his then dripping bag of water.

"I need more ice."

"Oh, Laxus. Why didn't you empty it out? Now it's dripped everywhere."

"That's what you get for not getting me an adequate amount that wouldn't have melted while you were gone. You-"

"Just be quiet."

After Mira and Haven disappeared off to make their lunch, Laxus slowly got to his feet, taking Marin with him. She was still sleeping and, as not to disturb her, he only went to drop her off in her playpen.

Now just to get rid of those pesky bandages.

He staggered off to the bathroom, his ankle throbbing after having not been used for the past hour or so.

Leaving the door ajar, Laxus was dismayed to find, when he looked in the mirror, that he was exactly how he feared. Stupid. Quickly moving to fix this, he started with the gauze on his arms, unwinding the copious amount that Haven had used from his limbs.

"All better?"

He frowned as he turned to see Haven standing there, in the doorway, not a minute later. She was holding a bag of ice, Mirajane no doubt sending her off once more to bring it to him.

"Uh-"

"No 'ike bandies?"

"W-Well, kid, I-"

"No good job?"

"N-No, it's not that! I…" Laxus frowned at the way she was staring at him. "I was, uh, you know. Just tightening them."

"Wear bandies?"

"Yep." He glanced at the mirror and sighed at himself before moving to wrap the gauze around his unwounded arm once more. "I am."

And he did too, for the whole rest of the day. What choice did he have? So he sported them right up until, after putting the kids to bed, he and Mirajane found themselves alone in the bathroom, the door firmly shut.

"I think you looked cute in them, Daddy," Mira told Laxus as he stood over at the sink, ridding himself of the things once and for all as she soaked in the tub after working all day, watching.

"Shut up, Mira."

"What?"

"You know what."

She giggled a little. "I do though. And I think it's damn sexy that you're willing to do those things for our babies."

That made him blink. Then, after pulling one of the bandages from his nose, he turned to glance at her. "How sexy?"

Mirajane gave him a look before sinking lower in the water. "Not as sexy as you're hoping."

Great. So he didn't even get sex out of it? Just great.

"But," Mira went on. "Maybe Haven has a knack for this."

"A knack for what? Bothering me? Making me do stupid things? Completely disrupting my day? Yes. Yes, she does."

"For being a medic. Maybe-"

"Ha. No. Gonna stop you right there, demon."

"What?"

"She's not learning stupid support magic or whatever. That's a waste of her talents."

"Talents you say?"

"Yes, talents, Mira. She's a Dreyar! She has plenty of potential that would only go to waste."

"Uh-huh."

"And besides," Laxus grumbled as he went back to work ridding himself of gauze and bandages. "I'm throwing that damn kit out tomorrow morning."

Mirajane only giggled. "She just loves you, Laxus."

"Yeah," he grumbled as he glanced back up at himself in the mirror. "I love her too."

* * *

**I liked Parenthood, but Remember Me is still my favorite Fairy Tail series of mine and sometimes I just miss it, at which times you get stuff like this. **


End file.
